1. Begging the Question: It is necessary for you to listen to me, because I am your mother.
2. Ad Hominem: “If Hillary Clinton can’t satisfy her husband, what makes her think she can satisfy America?” – Donald J. Trump
3. Equivocation: Philosophy helps you to form arguments. But I dislike arguing, so philosophy is a negative subject to learn.
4. Slippery Slope: If you are friendly to everyone, you’ll eventually become friends with bad people. If you are friends with bad people, they’ll introduce you to other bad people. If you are introduced to a bad person, you’ll become manipulated into dating them, because all your bad friends say they’re great. If you become manipulated into dating them, they’ll manipulate you into giving them money and giving up everything you like to appease them. If you give up everything you like and your money, you’ll think you only have them and rely on them. If you only rely on them, you’ll be convinced you have to marry them. If you marry them, they’ll inevitably divorce you and take the kids. If they divorce you and take the kids you’ll be left at home, penniless and lonely, and the weird uncle that comes to your sister’s family dinners. Don’t become that weird uncle. Be unfriendly.
5. Straw Man: Bernie Sander’s Medicare for All is a socialist, communist plan that’s going to take away our perfectly good healthcare and violate our freedom of choice.
6. Tu Quoque: You can’t lecture me on breakups. You just got dumped!
7. Non- Sequitur: Alexandria Ocasio Cortez was a bartender. She became the Representative of New York. I have to bartend to hold a representative office in government.
8. False Dichotomy: For global warming to exist, the whole earth must be extremely hot. I am holding a snowball in my hand. Therefore, global warming can’t exist, since the cold and global warming cannot exist at the same time.
9. Argument from Ignorance: You can’t prove that I’m not the second coming of Christ. Therefore, I am the second coming of Christ, and must be treated as such.
10. Red Herring: Calling for additional impeachment witnesses is a threat to national security and distracts from the real issue of war with Iran.
11. Ad misericordiam: You can’t be mad at me, my dog died three days ago and my grandma is hospitalized.
12. Hasty Generalization: All men are trash.

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